God has been so kind to me...
Lately I felt some little miracles. When I have a thought of getting / experiencing something, the things do really come to me. Three little things to be exact, though all of them are just kinda PHP, or one or two level lower than what I expected, the fact that the opportunities ever came towards me gives me hope. To be honest, I used to, or sometimes I still, think that my future is kinda hopeless. I'd be much happier If I could naturally die in young age. But it seems that my life would be longer that what I actually hoped, so I have to fill these passing years with meaningful things.
I am like walking in a deep dark cave and just keep going on without knowing what's ahead. I long for sunshine for I have been underground for so long I have forgotten how it would feel to be kissed by the sun. And these three little miracles are like a little ray of light that enters through the crevice of the rock. When I run to it, I find out that the crevice is too small I can't pass through. However, it gives me big hope that the end of the cave is near. I just need to keep on going for the exit door of the cave is just several steps far from where I now stand.
Not long ago as well, I prayed for God to speak to me, in any way He'd like. And I got His messages these past two weeks. And I am grateful for it. To be honest, I was not in good mental and spiritual condition that time, but still He spoke to me.